Tips from the Trenches: A Guide to Practical Parenting

Pre-Sort

Post-Sort

Have you ever noticed that since you became a parent your floor lint takes on a whole new texture, a whole new meaning? Not only is the lint stickier, more prevalent, and generally dirtier, but is also just plain bigger.

Non-breeders would probably not agree with me that Lego quickly is reduced in status from toy to floor lint, but when you have to use a broom to get all the pieces off the floor it definitely morphs into a this new onerous category. Large pieces of potato chips, My Little Pony hats and shoes, Barbie jewelry, popcorn, Cheerios, stuffed animal parts, and small balls become doomed to the garbage pergatory of floor lint.

Instead of just sweeping it up and throwing it away, which I suppose I could do, there is now an extra step that I never thought would apply to floor lint. Sorting.

The sorting stage involves not only separating the common genus and species of floor lint from the less common variety; but it also means I have to decide if the toy pieces are unharmed, broken, usable, part toy that can be reunited with it's whole, or part of a toy that was previously sorted in to the trash (Toy Heaven) on a previous sweep. It's just another example of a simple job gone bad.

It's such a tedious world and I get no respect!