Thursday, September 25, 2008
If you want your child to be the world's next prodigy, you can't start too soon. All children can be trained to be perfect from an early age really. Here are some tips to making the most of your babies' time.


You can start before birth by playing music through the womb. Mozart is preferred because of his own prodigy status, but as with most things, something is better than nothing. If your personal preference is James Taylor, ABBA, or even Korn, prodigy-hood is still within your grasp. Just don't expect your Little Prodigy to pick things up as quickly as the other prodigies in town. Alternative music does seem to stimulate the mind, but also, strangely, seems to cause alcoholism and drug use. Not always a good, productive combination for your Little Prodigy.

Studies also show that babies can develop a taste for certain foods in the womb (great if you want the child to be a cooking prodigy) and even understand grammatical structure while in utero (great for those "born to be copywriting" prodigies).


There are many activities that you can try as early as Day 1 as long as you remember to pack your portable DVD player, some books, and entry-level flash cards in your bag for the hospital.

Baby Einstein has an excellent series of DVDs available on the black market. These are not the same DVDs that you find in the stores today (which have recently been shown to actually reduce prodigy-like skills in babies). The store versions of Baby Einstein have been "dumbed down" for the general public and are not intended for real prodigy development.

These black market versions are actually proven to be helpful in making sure all the neurons fire as quickly and efficiently as possible. They make use of a specially studied form of suggestive marketing techniques that are shown so quickly they are not discernable by the human eye. Using this method, your baby will learn music on one level, your choice of Spanish, French, Japanese, or Chinese on another, and ballet, tap, and jazz dance on another. Simultaneously. Don't be surprised if you get up for the 3 am feeding to find your Little Prodigy doing "jazz hands" while screaming in the usual way, except with a Chinese accent. No call to the doctor required.

Other great post-birth activities include flash cards (math and language only), sign language (for those silent communicators), baby gyms (make sure to ask if they have a certified Prodigy Development Program, or "PDP", before you sign-up), and piano lessons (certified PDPs have baby grands, perfect for little fingers).

Other studied, but as of yet unproven, options include sports (soccer, basketball, swimming, and gymnastics), art (abstract, impressionist, and realist), and the 6-week Red Cross "Little Life Savers" course (for those children interested in medicine).

Good luck with your search for the perfect certified PDP. Please let me know if you find any that are not listed.


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