Tips from the Trenches: A Guide to Practical Parenting

For a while now, I've been having this conversation regularly.

CHILD: Who's coming?
ME: No one. I can't hear you very well though. I'm vacuuming.

I finally had the conversation in enough details that I figured out what the heck is going on. (Yes, I'm a little slow.)

ME: I'm going to tidy up you room.
DAUGHTER: My animals?
ME: Yes.
DAUGHTER: My books?
ME: Yes.
DAUGHTER: My ponies?
ME: Yes.
DAUGHTER: Even the big ones?
ME: Yes.

Pause.

DAUGHTER: Who's coming?
ME: No one.
DAUGHTER: (disappointed) Oh.

(Insert the Ah-ha! moment here.)

ME: What!? Do you think that every time I clean someone is coming over?
DAUGHTER: Yes.

Some people can be so stupid.

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