Tips from the Trenches: A Guide to Practical Parenting

I've spent literally years of my parenting life eating crow. In fact, I've developed an especially tasty recipe that I thought I'd share.

1. Find something about which you feel passionately. It is often helpful if it is something other parents routinely do "to survive" (so they say) and which you have not experienced first hand.
2. Take a stand.
3. Broadcast your position LOUDLY and CLEARLY on the playground or other socializing venue.
4. Blow off the nay-sayers with appropriate disdain. It is especially delicious if you pepper your disdain with statements such as "how could they?" and "I would never..."
5. Post your position on Facebook.
6. Season with sangria or other "beverage".
7. Sit in the sun for 20 minutes at 80 degrees and have a sanctimonious moment. Do not over bake.
8. Remove from heat. Let cool.
9. While cooling, whip up a small amount of doubt. Place on one side.
10. While waiting for the food critic to arrive, cut pie, top with whipped doubt, and serve. Best served same day, but equally delicious at any time.