Tips from the Trenches: A Guide to Practical Parenting

1. When I tell my son not to get Moon Sand all over the carpet, why do I come back not 5 minutes later to find both my son and daughter in a Moon Sand ball war?
2. Why does the pizza guy always deliver when my children decide to answer the door naked?
3. Why does my 2-year old nap only on days that napping isn't really convenient?
4. Why does my son always draw all over my daughter and not on himself?
5. Why doesn't the tooth fairy publish a price list?
6. Why is the food on my plate more desirable that the food on my daughter's plate?
7. Why is the 1 square foot (no comments, please) where I'm sitting the only place everyone else wants to sit?
8. Why does my son draw on the wall in his closet, but not on other walls? (Well, except Anna's, I suppose.)
9. Why does everyone know my son's name, but he never knows anyone else's? (I'm not actually sure I want an answer to that one, but it comes up.)
10. Why is Star Wars: The Clone Wars cartoon shown after a reasonable bedtime?

More questions coming soon.