Tips from the Trenches: A Guide to Practical Parenting

Sometimes when you are a parent of small children, you are lucky enough to be admitted to the hospital. When you win the parenting lottery and this happens to you, it is best to be prepared.

I recommend packing a bag ahead of time so that you will not have to think while you are in pain. Grab and go is the best policy here. Some things to include in your bag are:

• A "Do Not Disturb" door hanger for your room. Just let the nurses know that you will buzz them when you need them and you do not want to be interrupted unless they are bringing you meds or your pizza delivery.
• Your computer so you don't miss out on valuable Facebook and blogging time. (Be sure to ask about the availability of Wi Fi in advance.)
• An updated list of your local food delivery service phone numbers. Call ahead to find out what they need to be able to deliver to the hospital. Sometimes this may require a "tip up front" arrangement to give them some incentive to work the complex hospital heirarchy.
• Your favorite personal items, such as lotion, nail polish, manicure set, make-up, etc.
• Reading material (Non-parenting related items are recommended. After all, you don't want to be distressed while you are "healing".)
• iPod with your favorite entertainment and games.
• A soduku puzzle mag. This is best used after you've taken your meds.
• Your best silk jammies (as long as you don't expect to have weeping wounds during your stay).
• Your favorite snacks and beverages. Room service is sometimes a little slow in hospitals. In addition, most hospitals will not serve alcoholic beverages, so pack carefully.

To get the most out of your spa treatment, call the nurses for any and all needs irrespective of their apparent importance to the nurse. After all, this is your time. Don't lose sight of that goal.

Be sure to ask if they have a physical therapist who can massage your bed sore muscles. Many hospitals provide this service and will happily bill your insurance company for you. No tipping required.

Get plenty of rest. This might be your last opportunity for your entire parent-cy. After a day or so of attending to your every whim, it is likely that you will have easy access to all sedatives required for maximum sleepiness.

Finally, be sure to fill out all your forms before you have your manicure. You wouldn't want to sacrifice beauty for bureaucracy.

And, don't forget to put the spa treatment on your list for Mother's Day! You never know.