Tips from the Trenches: A Guide to Practical Parenting

We're all hyped-up on Easter candy at my house. After a fun day of reasonable games of egg hunting, candy, and other Easter fare, you'd think they'd be all tapped out. But, no. Any experienced parent will tell you that sugar and excitement don't mix well. (Not as well as, say, a gin and tonic or strawberries and cream.)

So, here I am listening to 2 brilliantly contrived, really, really annoying games.

1. The Round-and-Round game
2. The Cry Like a Baby game

The Round-and-Round game is just like it sounds. Running round and round and round and round the coffee table saying "Look, Mommy. I'm running round and round" at each turn around the coffee table. "Look, Mommy. I'm running round and round." Look, Mommy. I'm running round and round." "Look, Mommy. I'm running round and round." You get the picture.

Now, that is bad, but the Cry Like a Baby game is by far the worst. The game is also quite simple. Cry like a baby. The kid who can cry the loudest wins! Points are given for volume, pitch, and realism.

It's times like this when I reflect back on the ill-fated, overly romantic decision to have a second child, I seem to remember that part of that decision was the dream that one day they could play together.

Well, apparently, I'd had too much gin and tonic that day and I think I must have somehow also incorporated the idea of peace in to those play times. Never did I picture the Cry Like a Baby game. Never. It's bad enough to hear a baby crying for real...just imagine the repercussions of crying as a GAME!

So I'd also like to take minute to thank the Easter Bunny for his/her delivery this year. It is greatly appreciated and deeply meaningful that he/she thought of us.

But next year, I'm not buying a calendar, watching, TV, or shopping in the hopes that I will never know when it's coming round and round again.

Oh, swell. It looks like they are moving on to the Throw the Uncapped Free-from-the-Community Egg Hunt Highlighter at Each Other Naked game. Gotta run.