Tips from the Trenches: A Guide to Practical Parenting

Recently, I've been wishing I had a super power. Perhaps it's the laundry piled up all over the floor or the body lotion wiped on the windows or just the desire to feel powerful for at least a few moments in a generally powerless life. But it got me thinking...which one, of all the possible super powers, would be the most useful?

• Invisibility (to hide from all the demands)
• Super speed (to run away...far, far away)
• Super strength (to pick up super-sized laundry piles and the couch when I need to vacuum)
• Invincibility (so that I don't get hurt when games turn bad)
• Super volume (to make myself heard over all the whining)
• Super selective hearing (to tune out all the whining excepting certain decibels)
• OCD (to clean and feel satisfied by it)
• Wings or other ability to fly (That one definitely sounds like the most fun, but might not solve too many of my concerns.)

All have their pluses and minuses and, like the Super Friends, one super power really isn't enough. I really need a few so that they can complement each other. After all, even Superman had a problem with Kryptonite.

What do you think? Help me decide.