Tips from the Trenches: A Guide to Practical Parenting

Had a couple of food science discoveries today....

1. Over-ripe, but still safe-to-eat bananas left in backpacks take approximately 3 weeks to liquefy. If treated carefully, the skin will not rupture and will contain the liquefied banana. Banana daiquiri, anyone?
2. Fresh milk left in a sippy cup for 9 days will end up having the consistency and smell of cheese. End product not taste tested.
3. Fresh juice left in a sippy cup for 9 days will have the consistency of jello and smell of grain alcohol. Make your own Jello shots. End product not taste (or safety) tested.
4. Starburst jelly beans submerged in muddy water take approximately 2 hours to disolve.
5. Sticky rice left on clothes and put through the laundry (washer and dryer) will adhere to clothes forever...better than Super Glue.
6. Apple hand lotion does not taste like apple butter on toast. (Nor does it taste like chicken.)
7. Jello pudding makes excellent window paint. (Comes in various colors.)
8. Fossilized block cheddar makes an excellent crayon substitute, especially on walls.
9. Frozen peas that are left to dry out on the floor can be quickly reconstituted and fortified in muddy water.
10. There is no such thing as too old to find palatable in the eyes of a toddler.

If I can learn all this in one day, imagine what I'll learn by the end of the year.