Tips from the Trenches: A Guide to Practical Parenting

....an Air Freshener War.

Bet you are wondering what that is, aren't you?

Well, for your future reference, an Air Freshener War is when you are on the phone trying to work out a complicated technical problem with your hosting server (a problem which requires the technical support rep to use phrases, such as "we call this a hail mary attempt" and "when was the last time you did a database backup?") and your attention-deprived children who have  become bored waiting for your undivided attention discover two room air fresheners. The war part is pretty self-explanatory.

The result is also self-explanatory.

The nausea is unexpected.

Today I made the mistake of thinking I could tackle the job of cleaning out my "All Purpose Bag" (APB). As soon as I started, I remembered why I don't do it more regularly. Usually, I wait until a sippy cup leaks or a half-eaten cereal bar falls apart at the bottom of the bag, but I had some time (not enough) and the motivation (too much) and I thought I could get the job done. In the end, all I was able to do before being so rudely interrupted by my parenting responsibilities was to pull out 5 items.

The items were:

• A Clinique lipstick with Emma-sized finger dents all over it
• A half-eaten cereal bar impaled on a small, wire bristled hair brush (We'll just call that one item.)
• A dried out dandelion wad
• Mud covered, crusty, boy-sized socks
• A blue, Crayola crayon with teeth marks

Anyway, I thought it might be fun to have a little sharing time. So, grab your APB, close your eyes, and pull out the first 5 things you touch. Tell me what's inside.