Tips from the Trenches: A Guide to Practical Parenting

As I stuck the meat thermometer in the london broil last night, Emma pops up and asks me what I'm doing. I explained that I was checking to see if the meat was hot enough to eat. To which Emma asked, "is he sick?"

I've spent literally years of my parenting life eating crow. In fact, I've developed an especially tasty recipe that I thought I'd share.

1. Find something about which you feel passionately. It is often helpful if it is something other parents routinely do "to survive" (so they say) and which you have not experienced first hand.
2. Take a stand.
3. Broadcast your position LOUDLY and CLEARLY on the playground or other socializing venue.
4. Blow off the nay-sayers with appropriate disdain. It is especially delicious if you pepper your disdain with statements such as "how could they?" and "I would never..."
5. Post your position on Facebook.
6. Season with sangria or other "beverage".
7. Sit in the sun for 20 minutes at 80 degrees and have a sanctimonious moment. Do not over bake.
8. Remove from heat. Let cool.
9. While cooling, whip up a small amount of doubt. Place on one side.
10. While waiting for the food critic to arrive, cut pie, top with whipped doubt, and serve. Best served same day, but equally delicious at any time.

Here's one of my favorite recipes. Believe it or not, the kids really love it. Serve with rice and a complimentary veggie. (Still working on my job description...but it's going to be brilliant. Something about soap operas, Dr. Phil, and bonbons.)

Roast Pork with Vinegar and Bay Leaves (Serves 6)

2 tbs butter
1 tbs vegetable oil
2 lbs pork loin
Salt
1 tsp black peppercorns
3 bay leaves
½ cup red wine vinegar

Put butter and oil in heavy pan. Medium high heat. When butter foam subsides put meat in fat side down. Brown deeply all over. Turn when necessary (turn heat down a bit if butter starts going dark brown).

Add salt, sprinkling on all sides. Lightly crush peppercorns. Add to pot with bay leaves and vingegar. Scrape browning residues from pot. Do not let vinegar simmer long enough to evaporate. Turn heat to low. Cover pot tightly. Cook turning occasionally, until tender. Add 2-3 tbs water to replenish liquid if necessary.

Transfer to cutting board to settle for a few minutes, Slice 3/8 inch thick. Arrange on platter.

Tip pot. Spoon off most fat and all bay leaves. Add 2 tbs water. Turn to high and scrape residues away from pot while water boils away. Pour juices over pork. Serve.